Comaman of Soa, 2 years and a half
Léna and her partner, who carried their daughter, had planned to co-breastfeed.
Like many times with a newborn, things did not go as planned!
This "practice" is not widely discussed in the public arena and resources on the subject are limited.
Lena wanted to contribute to the project with a written testimony about the reality of same-sex families.
The general experience
« Becoming a mother without having carried my daughter is a surprising experience for me. I accompanied my spouse throughout the pregnancy and during her natural birth in a birthing center with a lot of confidence and serenity.
I was very involved from the beginning and I had a very strong bond with our daughter as soon as we felt her move in my spouse's belly. I took most of the parental leave and I have a very strong relationship with my daughter.
I love being a mom and, with my wife, we form a very complementary team. When I tend to be too strict, my spouse is often too flexible, but each of us works to find the balance and our daughter finds in each of us the parent she needs. »
The choice to breastfeed
« It was never a question. It was clear from the beginning that if my partner wanted to breastfeed and if she liked it, she would. I was all for it.
We discussed co-breastfeeding, but because our daughter was hospitalized during her first week of life, I preferred to give my spouse the exclusive right to breastfeed so that her milk supply would not be a source of stress. »
The beginning of breastfeeding
« The midwives and birth attendants at the house guided my partner to latch on well and everything went well. She had a very easy breastfeeding.
I was always supportive and involved in other ways: changing diapers and feeding my wife while she was breastfeeding!
It was pretty similar to what I thought it would be, but I have to say that the women in my family breastfed too, so it was a pretty familiar topic. »
The role of the co-mom in breastfeeding
« I think it's important to be involved in order to bond with your child from the beginning. That's what I did.
I woke up at night to change the diaper before my spouse breastfed, I carried my daughter in a sling, I gave her a bath with my spouse.
And I would reassure my partner when she was unsure or take the baby to rest.
I stayed by their side all the time and our family is very close. I think that's why, for all that sharing from the first moments. »
Life as a couple while breastfeeding
« We kept moments of intimacy and tenderness all the time.
We took our shower together when the baby was sleeping, we slept together, and we made little attentive gestures.
Sexuality took a long time to come back, which is normal, my wife had stitches and we were tired.
It came back slowly, gradually, as our daughter slept more, and we tamed our new family life and our new fatigue. »